I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
