whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
