Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
