Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
