HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
