So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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