i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Randomize
