i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
