Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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