And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
