gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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