Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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