butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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