y did u give ur computer a hand job?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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