she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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