You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
