i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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