ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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