My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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