My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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