It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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