I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
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