fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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