Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
