His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
