i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
