I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
