I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
