It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
