Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
