there's paper in my vomit.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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