i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
