if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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