they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
