I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
