wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
