Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
time to smoke my breakfast
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Randomize
