He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
