i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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