dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize