I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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