This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize