How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
