if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
