we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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