At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
