I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
