just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
