no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
