i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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