I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
