just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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