we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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