there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
