It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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