her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Still dying that you shit outside
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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