so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
