please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You're like the curious george of whores
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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