the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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