there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
