Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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