i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I understand Curling. That high.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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