just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
