She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
