your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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