I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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